kitanzi: (Default)
[personal profile] kitanzi


Well, Monday morning came too early and too grumpy but it always does after a con. I was a grouch and feeling somewhat unwell and would have been happy for any reasonable excuse to not go to work, but that's standard Monday Morning Post-Con Blues, and it just wasn't happening.

The universe has a really nasty sense of humor, I have to say.

I've been prone to occasional dizzy spells for a long time, but very occasional. I stand up too fast, my head spins - I grab something, take a couple deep breaths, I'm fine. The last month or two, they've seemed maybe a bit more common but nothing to freak out over. Mostly I've just been tired and stressed and on the ragged edge with my job. Well, for whatever reason, Monday I stood up at my desk, felt dizzy, tried to sit down and kind of went sideways instead. I'm told I appear to have fainted for a few moments, and a fairly large fuss was made. I don't blame them - I was pretty scared myself. Anyhow, I was driven home with strict orders to see a doctor, which I promptly did. Unfortunately, I was not really good for driving myself safely, so ACat and Maedbh7 wound up burning most of the remaining day waiting for me at the doctor's office then dropping me off at home before he drove her off to catch her plane. To put it mildly, the whole thing really sucked, and they didn't know what caused it. The doctor took blood and urine, checked temperature and blood pressure (sitting, standing and lying down) plus everying else he could think of (including possibility of pregnancy - thankfully negative!), and asked all manner of questions about what I'd eaten and when and everything else he could think of. He also informed me I had a heart murmur and he would arrange an echocardiogram asap for me. It boiled down to a list of things it was not - but no clear idea what it was. He also gave me a note to miss work Tuesday. Needless to say, when I was whining that I didn't want to go to work, this was NOT what I had in mind!

Tuesday they called me to tell me to go on in for an echocardiogram. By this time I was feeling unshaky enough to drive myself, so at least ACat could take that day's crop of houseguests ([livejournal.com profile] bardling and [livejournal.com profile] plaid_dragon) out and about touristing, though I honestly can't recall what they did. I went to the hospital and found out that echocardiograms have gotten pretty damned nifty since the last time I had one! I got to actually peek at the monitor while the doctor did the ultrasound, and I could see the image of my heart moving, and even hear the sound of the blood whooshing around when she turned the volume up. On the whole, extremely cool, though I'd still just as soon not have needed it.

Wednesday I went back to work, while ACat used his last wrangled day of vacation to take [livejournal.com profile] plaid_dragon to the zoooooo! Dizziness was still there but I was functional and it's mostly a sitdown job anyhow. My brain felt like cottonwool, but what the hell. I got through.

Thursday ACat and I were both back at work, but about an hour after I got in my supervisor caught me hanging onto the printer, trying to get my head to unwhirl itself. She promptly made me sit and threatened to call 911 on me. (Apparently someone gave her grief about not doing that Monday, though I'm damned if I know what they could have actually done. Yes, I know, technically she probably should have. I'm glad she didn't.) Instead I called the doctor, set up another appointment and called poor ACat to come get me again. Another day, another doctor. More tests, more questions, no more answers. Now they want me to get a neurology checkup, which will be a week from this coming Wednesday. Joy. (Still, doctor's tests beat falling on my face at work any day of the week.)

Today I'm back at work, having gotten lots of questions and reassurances and worried people here trying to make sure I'm okay. These are really, really good people. It has been suggested that a good portion of this may be stress, and it may be. The job's been crazy, I haven't been sleeping so well, I suck at letting stress go to begin with, etc etc etc etc. Life always has stress. I kinda doubt that's all of it though... regardless, this is where things stand. When there's just too much to talk about, I tend not to talk. When there's stuff I don't even want to think about, I tend not to talk. Not really good, I know.


So, anyhow, that's what's been happening, and now you know.

Date: 2004-01-16 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catalana.livejournal.com
*big hug* I'm sending good thoughts your way - good luck on finding out what's up (and preferably being able to *fix* it too!)

Date: 2004-01-16 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thanks, I appreciate it! I admit, I'm a wee little bit freaked about this, though I'm trying not to be.

Date: 2004-01-16 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bardling.livejournal.com
*bhigghugs*
As for the not talking... please don't make me come back and pry what's necessary to let go out of you with tea & a crowbar, ok?
Much better to give Acat a chance at being manly caretaker of a temporarily weak female. He knows you're strong when you need to be. *morehugs*

Date: 2004-01-16 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
It's nothing personal, hon... I just wind up at a loss for what to say. :) *hug* Sometimes it's even more like the back of my brain isn't talking to the front of my brain and I don't even know what I'm thinking. *sigh* Pretty messed, huh?

Date: 2004-01-17 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bardling.livejournal.com
Not taking it personal, just trying to joke you into mentally relaxing, if only for a split second. But hey, perhaps coming back and hugging you until you're tired of being hugged or giving you a proper massage would do better at that... Wish I could. As is, many good thoughts and well wishes thought your way accompanied by lots of virtual hugs will have to do. *gentlefirmbhigghugs*

Date: 2004-01-17 05:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Awww, thanks :) *hug*

Date: 2004-01-16 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] surrdave.livejournal.com
Hope all goes well. The ones they can't explain--which is a lot, in medicine--gnaw at my worry. But have fun with the neurological exam. Bet they give you the drunk driver stuff. Heh. I should make a test study prep book. Good luck, and hope you pass!

Date: 2004-01-16 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Heh, I hadn't even thought about that, but you'd certainly know more about those than anyone else I know. Yeah, he had me do the drunk test - walk the straight line, hold your arms out straight with your eyes shut, all of that. It was amusing in a black sort of fashion. If I were grading it, I'd say I flunked, but he said balance was not what he was actually checking for, so I dunno.

Date: 2004-01-16 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] surrdave.livejournal.com
Usually they're looking for side-to-side discrepancies, like if you lose your balance only when moving your left leg. Or anything apparently unconnected, like hearing a buzz when you bend your arm or something silly like that. But the most common thing they see is with the eyes, like migraine symptoms. They already know you see spots when dizzy, but they're interested in whether something causes it. I see sparks when I laugh or cough too hard too long. They only last until I catch my breath. The test doesn't cover whether sitting in one place, unergonomically, can cause problems like locking knees can.

Date: 2004-01-16 06:42 pm (UTC)
ext_2963: (Default)
From: [identity profile] alymid.livejournal.com
*hugs* - I'm sorry things are so weird for you right now - I'll keep you in my good thoughts ... hope it gets better soon, and/or they figure out what is going on *hugs*

Date: 2004-01-16 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thanks, and I do really appreciate it. *hug*

Date: 2004-01-16 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] filkerdave.livejournal.com
*lots and lots of hugs*

And another massage next I see you, OK? I may not know wtf I'm doing, but I apparently do it OK ;)

Date: 2004-01-17 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
You do very well, and I'll take you up on that gladly. :) In fact, would you like another in trade? *hug*

Date: 2004-01-16 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrpsyklops.livejournal.com
Good thoughts and good wishes coming your way.

Date: 2004-01-17 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thank you, I'll take all I can get! :)

Date: 2004-01-16 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quadrivium.livejournal.com
Eep! Rob told me about it last night over IRC. *Big hugs* I'm send good thoughts your way, love. *Extra tight hug for good measure* I'm wishing I wasn't 3-4 hours away too very badly right now. :-(

Date: 2004-01-17 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
*hug* thanks, hon... I wish too, but this too shall pass and all of that. Thank you for the hugs and the caring. :)

Date: 2004-01-17 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pola-bear.livejournal.com
*hugs*

I hope thet sort out what this is, and can fix it soon!

Date: 2004-01-17 05:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Me too! *hug* Well, that's what doctors are for - right?

Date: 2004-01-17 07:17 am (UTC)
jenny_evergreen: (Half Smile)
From: [personal profile] jenny_evergreen
*Jenny The Amazing Medical Specimen clears her throat* *ahem*
I shall now attempt to be reassuring. We'll see how it goes. *wry*
I get dizzy for no reason (though I've yet to fall over.) There are a LOT of things that Doctors can't explain. Because it cannot be explained does not mean, in fact, that it is Something Horrible.
Doctors know a LOT less than they are willing to admit.
Tom has gone through periods of dizziness, too. His mother gets a kind of horizontal vertigo, so apparently dizziness runs in the family. And Tom is, like, ridiculously healthy. (Unlike me.)
So. With him, it's probably some strange imbalance in his inner ear or something. Who knows? (Answer: No one.)
Anyway. Beware the heart murmur, and take care of yourself, and don't believe that because it is Unknown, it must be Horrible.
I am the queen of the undiagnosable thingie. Fortunately, if they don't know, it probably means you won't suffer horribly and forever from it. Those are the ones they DO figure out. *hugs offered* (Generally, imo, ime, so forth, etcetera and so on. :)

Date: 2004-01-17 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thank you, and it really does help. :) The echocardiogram was alarming, partly because I'd had one doctor a few years ago say I MIGHT have a murmur, and he had me do an echo then. That came back normal, so to have a doctor immediately and emphatically say I do have one now, and need an echo right away, made me fear it had gotten worse in between - and I've heard a lot about that being dangerous. Fortunately, it seems to be in normal limits, whatever that really does mean.

Date: 2004-01-17 10:04 am (UTC)
poltr1: (Default)
From: [personal profile] poltr1
*hug* Hope you're feeling better. Keep us informed, and Take It Easy!

Stress has a way of building up and building up, and then getting out any way it can. I hope you can find a good healthy way of getting it out before it hurts you.

Date: 2004-01-17 10:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thanks, I can use all the good wishes I can get. :)

Date: 2004-01-17 02:45 pm (UTC)
gingicat: deep purple lilacs, some buds, some open (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
Meep! I hope whatever it is goes away as mysteriously as it came and stays away! *hugs*

Date: 2004-01-17 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Me too, me too. *hug* thanks!

Date: 2004-01-17 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acrobatty.livejournal.com
Hugs!

Good luck! Keep batting ideas around w/ the doctors, sometimes they get tunnel vision.

Date: 2004-01-17 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Yeah, I know... well, I thought of a couple long shots that MIGHT have been somehow related and brought them up, so if I think of more I'll spit 'em out.

Date: 2004-01-18 12:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] figmo.livejournal.com
Hope you're feeling better now. *HUG*

Date: 2004-01-18 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thank you - I'll take all the good wishes I can get :)

Date: 2004-01-18 01:05 pm (UTC)
cellio: (embla)
From: [personal profile] cellio
Ouch. I hope you're feeling better soon! Medical mysteries just suck, so I hope they can track it down.

Date: 2004-01-18 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Me too, and thank you. I have a neuro exam a week from Wednesday - meanwhile, I have a cold on top of it and I am feeling very scrambled. Bleah. I make a really lousy patient. :(

Date: 2004-01-19 09:04 am (UTC)
bedlamhouse: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bedlamhouse
We've certainly been thinking of you from here!

Date: 2004-01-19 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
That would be because you are dear, sweet people with too much time on your hands. *G*
(Well, the first half is right at least!)

Date: 2004-01-20 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rms-butterfly.livejournal.com
Ugh! Take care of yourself. Hope you find out something soon. And, do try to relax. I know it's hard w/a new job, con just over, all that going on. Breath!

*hugs*
'berta

Date: 2004-01-20 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitanzi.livejournal.com
Thanks - sound advice, just hard to follow :)

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