Perhaps a dissenting opinion....

[kitanzi]

I grieve for those who died a year ago, and for those who lost people they knew and loved. I did not lose anyone I directly knew, but my grief is no less sincere, nor does it require whipping up to a froth by people who seem to think that if they are not shouting in my face about what a tragedy this was I'll somehow forget.
A moment of silence (or more) feels appropriate - having that time appropriated for speeches of the above sort does not. Attempts to coerce people into attending such ceremonies do not. People loudly and ostentatiously proclaiming their anger, pain, grief and patriotism (as if they are all equivalent) from the street corners and the televisions and the front lawn of my office building impress me just about as much as televangelists do.
I understand that everyone copes with tragedy in different ways, and some may even sincerely grieve loudly and in herds, but to convince people that's the only valid way is, in my mind, a tragedy in itself.

Comments

[surrdave.livejournal.com]

"And he talks a little louder when
he doesn't really know what to say
And the louder he talks, the faster he
disappears."

--from "Disappear", by Erik Grant Bennett

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I wonder what particularly obnoxious speech it was.

With hugs,
A.
who agrees with you

[kyttn.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you put this into words. I've felt like this all day but not been able to verbalize it. It is nice to know I am not the only one.

*hugs*

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I didn't much care for the endless display myself, but I saw it as a matter of personal style rather than morality, chiefly because so did the people I saw committing the endless display. This may be Ohio, although it was true for me about what I got on the net, from the newpapers, and to the limited extent I watched from the TV as well: I didn't see very many people demanding that I or others who weren't interested participate. I saw them *assuming* we were going to participate, which is annoying but a lesser offense so long as they take no thank you for an answer. And they basically seemed to do so.

What I saw were a lot of individuals trying desperately to find something comprehensible about the way they felt, and therefore resorting to herd behavior because things always seem more comprehensible if they are done with structure and in groups. Because so much of the population did so, they may have started assuming everyone would, the same way, when I was young and voter turnout was higher, we would ask any adult we happened to converse with, "Voted yet?" The idea that someone would not be intending to never crossed our minds -- but had we run into one we'd just have blinked and said, "Whatever."

On occasion, I do prefer to find my coping mechanisms for grief in groups. A year ago, I did watch TV for two days, and check in with friends, and look for people with whom to share the same feelings and observations we had both told to a hundred people in 48 hours. Now, I kept what I had to myself because what was going on wasn't useful to me at the moment. This had partly to do with its nature and partly to do with mine. I don't grudge it to them if it is useful to them, however, even if I find some of it irritating, even if I am cynical by public persona and grumble about it to whoever's within range of my one-liners. They have not, by and large, grudged my silence and abstention to me, and for that I will give them much credit. I wish you had found it the same.