make it stop

A week ago yesterday I came in to work and found out my coworker and friend, the 33 year old man who interviewed and hired me, had died at home in his sleep for no apparent reason, leaving behind a wife and two children under five. I went to his memorial service Saturday.

Last Thursday I visited another friend at the hospice, where he was waiting to die of bone cancer. He was so heavily medicated he simply wasn't in there, and I don't think he recognized me, though he tried to fake it. Yesterday evening I found out he had died, days later than the doctors said he was sure to. I'm not sure I can call that extra time a kindness to him or his wife, but he died in a good place with good people.

This morning I came out from the bathroom, looking for our cat Jenna, who knows that's her cue to come bother me for her canned food. She was lying dead in our computer room. She has had ongoing medical issues for a long time now, even surgery, but she had been eating well and gaining weight and really seemed to be getting so much better. Last night she sounded like she had a bit of hairballs, as she sometimes did, but curled up with ACat to sleep and we didn't worry. This morning I am cleaning up stains of dark liquid from the floor and wall in three different rooms, and all I can say is I am so fucking sorry we slept through this. We didn't know, Jenna, I'm so sorry.

If you care about someone, human or animal, please hug them today and tell them so. It's never wasted.