make it stop
Oct. 6th, 2010 05:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kitanziA week ago yesterday I came in to work and found out my coworker and friend, the 33 year old man who interviewed and hired me, had died at home in his sleep for no apparent reason, leaving behind a wife and two children under five. I went to his memorial service Saturday.
Last Thursday I visited another friend at the hospice, where he was waiting to die of bone cancer. He was so heavily medicated he simply wasn't in there, and I don't think he recognized me, though he tried to fake it. Yesterday evening I found out he had died, days later than the doctors said he was sure to. I'm not sure I can call that extra time a kindness to him or his wife, but he died in a good place with good people.
This morning I came out from the bathroom, looking for our cat Jenna, who knows that's her cue to come bother me for her canned food. She was lying dead in our computer room. She has had ongoing medical issues for a long time now, even surgery, but she had been eating well and gaining weight and really seemed to be getting so much better. Last night she sounded like she had a bit of hairballs, as she sometimes did, but curled up with ACat to sleep and we didn't worry. This morning I am cleaning up stains of dark liquid from the floor and wall in three different rooms, and all I can say is I am so fucking sorry we slept through this. We didn't know, Jenna, I'm so sorry.
If you care about someone, human or animal, please hug them today and tell them so. It's never wasted.
Last Thursday I visited another friend at the hospice, where he was waiting to die of bone cancer. He was so heavily medicated he simply wasn't in there, and I don't think he recognized me, though he tried to fake it. Yesterday evening I found out he had died, days later than the doctors said he was sure to. I'm not sure I can call that extra time a kindness to him or his wife, but he died in a good place with good people.
This morning I came out from the bathroom, looking for our cat Jenna, who knows that's her cue to come bother me for her canned food. She was lying dead in our computer room. She has had ongoing medical issues for a long time now, even surgery, but she had been eating well and gaining weight and really seemed to be getting so much better. Last night she sounded like she had a bit of hairballs, as she sometimes did, but curled up with ACat to sleep and we didn't worry. This morning I am cleaning up stains of dark liquid from the floor and wall in three different rooms, and all I can say is I am so fucking sorry we slept through this. We didn't know, Jenna, I'm so sorry.
If you care about someone, human or animal, please hug them today and tell them so. It's never wasted.
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Date: 2010-10-06 09:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 09:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 10:39 am (UTC)Animals often try to hide it, when they're sick; it is not your fault she succeeded.
*hugs*
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Date: 2010-10-06 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 10:57 am (UTC)I'd only say... she may have said *her* goodbye already and wanted to be by herself at the end - there's no knowing. You did nothing wrong. She was loved, and she'll have known that. *hugs*.
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Date: 2010-10-06 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 12:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 12:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 12:51 pm (UTC)I'm sorry for all of your losses. :(
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Date: 2010-10-06 12:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 01:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 01:34 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-10-06 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 03:56 pm (UTC)So true.
And I'm sorry.
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Date: 2010-10-06 04:54 pm (UTC)I'm very sorry to hear of all this hurt in so short a clip. That is a lot of heavy nature and sorrow to feel and process in so short a time. Please know you are deeply cared about. I know Jenna knew she was well cared for. I've had some experience with alive, sick, and dying cats and they *know* what's up. Jenna knew she was a queen in y'all's home and y'all's hearts. Cats often go back to their solitary roots when they die. They do all that feline dignity and stuff that makes them so gorgeous and mysterious. When Mario died he purred up with me one last time and went under the bed to be by himself. I had no idea it was his last night.
I'm sending you lots of warm, gentle hugs. It's so hard to say good bye to a feline angel. She really was a warm hearted sweetheart who enjoyed a warm hearted home.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 05:48 pm (UTC)*sending hugs to you and