I don't know... It depends on what you consider a crush to be. Over the years, I've had many crushes, but I have always kept quiet about them. And the way that I'm wired, I could never bring myself to persue any of my crushees while I was either in or just out of a relationship. One of the reasons that I don't express my crushes is to avoid embarassing the crushee; another is to avoid embarassing myself, and the third is because, if the crushee knew, it would probably change our friendship, with that person being more wary of my intentions (or in some other cases, not wary enough...)
Some years ago, I mentioned to a former crushee of mine that I had had a crush on her a while a few years previously, and she turned pink, and suggested that I should have said something at the time. She didn't say much more to me for a while. While I took this to mean that the crush was mutual, I suspect that, for me, it was a rare situation. I've only had one relationship (beyond friendship) that resulted from me persuing someone I had a crush on, and it ended badly. That is not to say that that's a pre-ordained thing, but I became much more shy and hesitant around people I found attractive in a more than superficial way after that.
Now, I'm married. I have no desire for a romantic relationship with anyone other than my wife. That does not mean that I don't still get crushes, but I'll continue to keep quiet about them.
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timeasmymeasure
Crushes?
Date: 2004-02-07 03:01 pm (UTC)Some years ago, I mentioned to a former crushee of mine that I had had a crush on her a while a few years previously, and she turned pink, and suggested that I should have said something at the time. She didn't say much more to me for a while. While I took this to mean that the crush was mutual, I suspect that, for me, it was a rare situation. I've only had one relationship (beyond friendship) that resulted from me persuing someone I had a crush on, and it ended badly. That is not to say that that's a pre-ordained thing, but I became much more shy and hesitant around people I found attractive in a more than superficial way after that.
Now, I'm married. I have no desire for a romantic relationship with anyone other than my wife. That does not mean that I don't still get crushes, but I'll continue to keep quiet about them.