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Entry tags:
points of view
I keep running into many little things that remind me I'm not where I used to be. Some of these may be north vs south, some may be small town vs cityish, some may be as simple as my old job vs my new job, some may just be me being a bit out of synch, as I so often am. But all that's really a subject for another post - that's not really what I meant to be gong on about here.
In the final few minutes before I left work today, one of the friendlier women there was chattering on about how she needed to have lower standards so she could find herself a man. She wants, quite seriously, someone over 6', "manly" (which she translated for me as aggressive), an engineer (though I suspect she'd settle for anyone with what she considers an equivalent high income), childless, 27-33 years old, and a pile of other things that escape me now. I was mostly just smiling and making amused comments and trying not to sound TOO amused. I mentioned I had a tall boyfriend myself, though that hadn't been one of my requirements. She babbled happily on for a few minutes, then suddenly asked me when I was getting married.
Um, I'm not. I told her this, and you would have thought I had told her I butcher babies for a hobby. She did try to be tactful, I'll give her points for that, but she honestly couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. When I asked her why I should, and added that I didn't want kids, so that wasn't a consideration, she was (momentarily!) speechless. I was saved by a last minute incoming call, but her explicitly repeated point was that if I was "fulfilling the role of a wife" (nice euphemism) then why ever wasn't I getting married and having kids? Was something WRONG?
Yep, this is the bible belt. I know it, and mostly overlook it. Many of my coworkers have biblical quotations up on their cubes, and I've deflected a few inquiries on religion. (In fairness, I was doing that back in NH anyhow, because that's one of the topics I find almost never stays a discussion - it degenerates into an argument.) On the other hand, I know more pagans here than I did there, and at least as many poly folks.
I guess my original point - I did have one! - was to wonder how many other people, wherever they are, have run into the default expectation of marriage and kids, and similar horrified what's-wrong-with-you reactions if they weren't interested? Is it regional thing? A generational thing? Just me?
In the final few minutes before I left work today, one of the friendlier women there was chattering on about how she needed to have lower standards so she could find herself a man. She wants, quite seriously, someone over 6', "manly" (which she translated for me as aggressive), an engineer (though I suspect she'd settle for anyone with what she considers an equivalent high income), childless, 27-33 years old, and a pile of other things that escape me now. I was mostly just smiling and making amused comments and trying not to sound TOO amused.
Um, I'm not. I told her this, and you would have thought I had told her I butcher babies for a hobby. She did try to be tactful, I'll give her points for that, but she honestly couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. When I asked her why I should, and added that I didn't want kids, so that wasn't a consideration, she was (momentarily!) speechless. I was saved by a last minute incoming call, but her explicitly repeated point was that if I was "fulfilling the role of a wife" (nice euphemism) then why ever wasn't I getting married and having kids? Was something WRONG?
Yep, this is the bible belt. I know it, and mostly overlook it. Many of my coworkers have biblical quotations up on their cubes, and I've deflected a few inquiries on religion. (In fairness, I was doing that back in NH anyhow, because that's one of the topics I find almost never stays a discussion - it degenerates into an argument.) On the other hand, I know more pagans here than I did there, and at least as many poly folks.
I guess my original point - I did have one! - was to wonder how many other people, wherever they are, have run into the default expectation of marriage and kids, and similar horrified what's-wrong-with-you reactions if they weren't interested? Is it regional thing? A generational thing? Just me?