kitanzi: (drwho tardis travel -  by shiremint)
Just for novelty's sake, maybe I'll post about something other than memes and/or movie nights, hmmm? It's a concept.

I just got home last night from an excellent weekend in Michigan visiting a close friend.

Friday ACat dropped me off at the MARTA which kindly delivered me to Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson airport in plenty of time to... stand in line for security for nearly an hour, followed by running down escalators and getting to my gate just as they were preparing to wrap up boarding. Whew. Carry-on luggage gains weight in direct proportion to the attempted speed of the carrier.

The flight was fine, and D was waiting for me right where he said he'd be, to whisk me off through the streets of Detroit. It turned out to be a lovely weekend with lots of snuggling, no lunches, tasty dinners, great company, a baby panther in the house, the Comfy Bed, many stairs and a trip to the New Detroit Science Center to see Our Body: The Universe Within. That spawned lots of slightly macabre jokes about the possibilities of haunting and/or zombies at the museum after the lights went out. The exhibit itself is more than a little bit controversial, with some evasive answers about where the bodies originally came from and on whose authority but it's absolutely fascinating. The museum has many other excellent exhibits, but that plus the Imax theater's film on the human body really made my inner bio-geek very happy.

Sunday afternoon D got me to the airport early enough to placate my neurotic certainty that I'm going to miss the plane, no matter what - only to get conflicting information once we were there on when the plane was actually leaving. Sadly, the Detroit Metro airport isn't designed to let you comfortably kill time before passing security, so we said our goodbyes without stretching them out very much, and parted ways. Security on this end was a snap, and of course since I was on time/early they delayed the plane. Twice. Dammit.

I spent the time reading, watching the clock, and speculating on how much of a spectacle we might have been able to make of ourselves next to the security checkpoint if we'd known we had that much time. *ahem* Oh well, this chance is gone - perhaps to grab the next one! *evil grin*

I'm home today, having scheduled it off for rest and recuperation (and unpacking, and laundry, and PT, and groceries...), but it was a really good weekend. Just thought I ought to mention that those do still happen, even if I haven't been posting about them much.
kitanzi: (firefly my wicked ways - by lexigeek)
Via [ profile] jhitchin:

DEAR MISS MANNERS -- I am struggling with the invitation list to my child's confirmation. Some of the potential invitees are members of a "poly" family.

The man is married to one woman. They live with a second woman. While I have not ever inquired about their bedding arrangements, I believe she is romantically attached to the wife. There is a third woman who dates the husband but lives elsewhere.

While they are quiet about this in their work and "in public," most of their friends know of the arrangement. They are not sneaking around -- the four of them are on excellent terms with each other. However, some of my relatives would be shocked if they knew of the relationships.

My daughter is friendly with the girlfriend, as am I. She would like to invite her. My husband and I are also friendly with the husband, whom we know through different connections. While I have met the wife and the other woman and get along with them well enough, I don't know them well enough that I would invite them to this sort of event were it not for their family connections to the husband.

So, are the four of them a package deal? Can I invite the husband and his girlfriend? Just the girlfriend? The husband and wife and girlfriend? How do I introduce them to my family?

GENTLE READER -- Since you admittedly do not know the bedding arrangements of this interesting assortment, you are spared the temptation of enlivening your child's confirmation by explaining their relationships to your relatives.

You can invite only the married couple, only their household, only one or both of the single ladies, or the whole group. But in any case, you introduce them by using their names. Miss Manners is sorry if this disappoints you.
kitanzi: (drwho tardis travel -  by shiremint)
We just now got home from the Michigan, where ACat and I attended the wedding of [ profile] aiela and [ profile] davehogg, as they and Aiela's daughter Brittany formalized the family they have made. The ceremony was as beautiful as the rehearsal was chaotic (and that's saying something), and I believe Dave and I managed to convince each other of our reality by thorough and rigorous proof. (I maintain there is still a possibility he may evaporate from existance between visits, however. Further proof may be requested.) My pants are entirely bankrupt, and I doubt I'll be able to make much effort to catch up, but we had a really wonderful weekend. Coming home, I remarked to ACat that it felt like coming home from a convention (yes, that IS a compliment!) - we're exhausted and running on autopilot, and missing people left behind as we head back to our everyday lives. ACat brought his laptop but I didn't touch it all weekend, so if I missed anything good, catch me up!
kitanzi: (firefly happy - iconomania)
[ profile] aiela came down last Friday to visit for the weekend, so our home has been full of cuteness with her and ACat snuggling and making eyes at eachother and... stuff. *G* We did all manage to get out of the house to see the Bucket of Baby Panda at the Atlanta zoo (even cuter, believe it or not, and ACat has photos somewhere), and we also got her to come along to the Gafia housefilk at the Suttons Saturday night. This was the first housefilk she's been to, I believe, and she swears she had fun, so it's all good. I enjoy the housefilks for the socializing as much as for the music, but both were very good this month - I just wish we had the space to offer to host one ourselves.

For that matter, I wish we had more space period. It's a small apartment with no guest room, so poor Aiela and ACat wound up on a mattress in the middle of the living room. I feel like a bad hostess, but we can only offer what we have - at least there was a best quality bedwarmer on offer. *EG* (I go to bed much earlier than either of them, by natural inclination, or the practical solution would have been the bed for the couple, and I could have had the couch for a night or two. It might still be worth figuring out a way to make that practical in the future, but more and more I am fixed on the idea of I want a house, dammit, with at least one more room than we have. *sigh* Some day, damn right.)

So, there was time for us to all hang out together and plenty of time for the two of them, and it was a very good weekend. I really like her, and I was nearly as sorry as ACat when it was time for her to go home today, but whatcha gonna do - as I pointed out to ACat, getting to borrow her from (the mythical) [ profile] davehogg includes an implicit promise to return her in a reasonable timeframe and in at least as good a condition as we got her in, no matter how much it sucks and whether I believe he really exists or not. No amount of tinkering seems to get that teleporter to work, alas.... I do so love poly when it's working. :)
kitanzi: (intense thinker - by absolutesnark)
Being a part of any given poly community, even peripherally, can be very oddly entertaining. Every so often you find out that people you didn’t even know knew each other are suddenly radiating NRE together like miniature power plants, and the web of relationships seems to instantly get that bit more compacted and tangled together. The whole community seems like some amazingly intricate origami creation, which folds and folds as people come together, until some day some critical density will be reached and the whole thing will simply implode, and everyone caught up in it will vanish like a pack of boojums…


Sep. 25th, 2006 08:34 pm
kitanzi: (curiosity killed the cat - by btfl_decad)
I had an interesting discussion with a friend earlier today about the boundaries between public and private, and the non-obvious line where venting and asking friends for help and support shades into talking about someone else's business, perhaps even more so online. When does your need for support run into someone else's wish for privacy? I've had this come up in my life often enough that I've put a lot of thought into it, but I thought this would also be a good place to ask other people's experiences - please feel free to add anything you like in comments.

[Poll #830069]
kitanzi: (holiday celebration - by tangerine_icons)
Work continues to be insane, and likely will for a couple more weeks, but I did manage to NOT work yesterday which was perfectly wonderful since it meant I got to go with [ profile] autographedcat to Aphelicon 2, the official microcon of Aphelion. Among other things, this was a celebration for the newly minted marriage of [ profile] vila_resthal and his charming wife Lyn, which was the easier for being held at their home. We had a great time, and I'm sure there will eventually be photos even though ACat forgot our camera. We saw old friends from last year, and met new ones we'd never known before. There was good food, good drink, good music and great company, and even though Life happened later, the con itself was an unqualified success.

Today is the second anniversary for ACat and me. (I just asked if this was the second or third, since I couldn't quite be sure - he said "The second. It just seems longer." He quickly added that he meant that in a good way when I dissolved into laugher.) I wish Vila and Lyn a marriage as happy and strong as the one we're celebrating today!
kitanzi: (firefly snuggle - by fadeto)
[ profile] autographedcat, I love you - no more today than any other day of the year, but today I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops. You're my anchor in the storm, my warm blanket in the cold, my best hug when I'm feeling down. I want to celebrate you every day of the year, but today especially.

Happy Birthday, sweetie. I love you.
kitanzi: (Default)
Anyone who wishes to ask me about my perspective and understanding of recent changes and developments in my relationships is welcome to.

Anyone who believes they know that perspective without asking is most likely mistaken.

(Apologies for being vague. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you are also welcome to ask but you probably will be confused and/or bored to tears by the answer.)

Vday, late

Feb. 15th, 2006 11:06 am
kitanzi: (breast and rose - by autographedcat)
I had a really very good Valentine's Day. ACat and I have had issues and problems over the past few months, and it felt good to have a day to celebrate that we're still fundamentally solid.

We're both huge fans of the tv show House, and a recent episode had a sorely misguided little girl saying, with great confidence, that grownups who loved each other never, ever fought. My immediate comment to ACat was "She's gonna go through a string of divorces when she gets older, and have no clue why." I'm endlessly glad we can have our problems and come out the other side stronger and more in love than we started. This is what I celebrate this Valentine's Day - love and trust and the ability to fight and yell like idiots while still keeping those things.

Of course, celebrating all this with an evening in (and on and around and near) bed is lots of fun too!

Love you all my life, sweetheart - let's keep this working for the next fifty years, at least.
kitanzi: (blues -  by kitanzi)
No, I'm not dead. No, ACat and I are fine. Yes, the shoulder is slowly getting better - thanks.

However, I will not be posting in this journal for the forseeable future. The things that are currently eating my brain are going to take a lot of working out on my end, and talking directly to the people involved, and I see no good or help in spreading them out in public during the process.

Please assume I had/will have a great Gafilk, lovely to see you all again, sorry I won't be making it to any other cons until OVFF, still temping, still employed, still married.

Still working on stuff.
kitanzi: (Default)
I'm kind of curious, and this seems a reasonable place to ask. I know a lot of people who talk about chosen family (or clan, or whatever), either in addition to or instead of the more traditional biological family. Sometimes it's in relation to poly, but not necessarily by any means.

If you describe yourself as having chosen family, how do you choose that family? What defines, for you, family as opposed to friends? Is the boundary fluid? Do you ever have people who are friends eventually come to feel like family, or do you drift away from people and eventually count them as friends instead? Are family relationships necessarily more intimate? Are you more likely to try and build a relationship with someone based on the fact that they are involved with someone you consider family, or a friend, or does that make any difference at all? I've recently seen it described as a distinction that's easier for someone from a close knit, loving family to make than someone who wasn't, based on what it feels like - does this describe what most of you have observed? Does it make a difference to you if someone you consider family doesn't consider you so, doesn't choose you back?

It's a far more complicated concept than the standard biological family where the relationship is clearly defined - you are born with a standard set of relations, and expected to evolve emotional attachments to match. My own family is definitely not close, and I do tend to feel that I have people who are chosen family, but recent conversations and observations have made me think about it a little more. Somewhat like poly, it's not a simple thing, and means many things to many people. It's also prone to assumptions people may not even realize they're making, or at least so I find, so I'm curious what other people may come up with if I get you all thinking about it too!


Nov. 24th, 2005 06:04 am
kitanzi: (happy - iconomania)
It's that time of year, and I do have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes I feel like I do nothing but whine and complain about my health, my finances, my personal issues, but the truth is I have a job that isn't driving me to a breakdown, I have a home I can walk into at night and feel is a place of safety and relaxation, I have (more than) enough good food to eat, I have people that I love dearly who love me back, even if some of them live toooo far away and are having life-eating issues of their own. (Big Bearhugs to all of you, especially Maedbh7!)

I think, though, that I should especially give thanks to and for my husband. He gives what I need and needs what I can give, and is the truest partner I've ever had. I never, ever planned to get married - I had no faith in the institution, having seen what seemed to be the vast majority of those I observed crumble insidiously around the heads of those who took that plunge. Still... It's been just a few months over a year, and maybe I'm jinxing us here, but I think I've found a person I can actually see living together, growing old together and finally breaking that March marriage curse with. I am, in fact, truly thankful.
kitanzi: (hey you - iconomania)
I had meant to say, and I got sidetracked - today I'm wearing the lovely new sweater that [ profile] telynor made for me. It's big and cozy and a gorgeous sort of puplish rose color and I just love it. Georgia has finally hit just the right temperature for it, and it's wonderful.

It also comes with an unexpected bonus - she apparently knitted in many long strands of her own hair, quite by accident. I'm odd, I'm sure, but it's a nice reminder that it's handmade with care and comes from her.
kitanzi: (Glee! - by Kataclysmic)
Happy first (legal!) anniversary for ACat and me, and I'm looking forward to many, many more. He's one of the sweetest, smartest, most loving guys I know, and I don' know if I'll ever quite get over waking up in the morning, looking over at him sleeping, and thinking "My husband? Wow!" Love you hon!

I'll think I'll keep him! *g*
kitanzi: (happy -iconomania)
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't to forget make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

-Neil Gaiman

I like that a lot, so I'm borrowing it.

May the new one be better than the old one - and may the next be better yet! )
kitanzi: (Default)
Just to clear the record, yeah work sucks at this time of year but I do know it's better than it was last year. This time last year I would have been spending Sunday night in barely suppressed terror at the prospect of going back tomorrow. :)

I'm also actually being a lot more sociable this time this year - whether that's helping manage the stress, or a result of less stress because I'm not screamingly new at my job I don't know. Likely a bit of each! ACat and I have gone to a couple holiday parties and had quite a bit of fun. Last night's was hosted by [ profile] vatavien and [ profile] rslatskin. ACat had a great time playing Dance Dance Revolution (which neither of us had ever seen before) and I did get up and risk my neck once as well! Surprisingly fun - we might just get that. We're being very indecisive on just how much we want to forgo gifts to have extra money for England, but it will probably have to wait. Lots of interesting people there, some new and some already known, mostly from overlapping poly groups. Amusingly, [ profile] maedbh7 called while everyone was doing (again) the round of introductions for the newest batch of people showing up. I *think* I eventually heard everyone's names, but I doubt I'll remember them for more than one or two of those I hadn't met before. Since she met a few of the people, including the hosts, the last time she visited us I told her she'd have to qualify for the "furthest away virtual attendee" award. *G* If anyone got into the common "I'm on LJ, are you on LJ? *Who* are you on LJ?" round of conversation, I missed it. I'd be quite interested in knowing, if anyone has that information on hand for me?

Heh, and now by odd coincidence my ex-gf is instant messaging me from the clear blue sky, suggesting she might be coming to the area soon and can she visit. Life has a funny way of coming around. (In fact, the ex-bf of my old college roommate also found me unexpectedly online the other day. TC, you reading this? *G* Scared you off yet?)
kitanzi: (oh really - iconomania)
The good - I'm much happier than I was, say, a week ago in my relationships. I'm walking around smiling at random people, humming happy songs. Communication has been clarified, happiness has been expedited, redefinition has been embraced where needed, and I'm considerably more content with the universe than I was. This is a Damn Good Thing, because...

The bad - work is being insane. Seriously. At the moment our department is down to 5 people on the phones including me, down from over twice that when I started a year ago. All five of us are grumbling and bitching back and forth, and the lunch our supervisor has promised to buy us Monday just isn't going to fix this morale problem. *And* I'm going to only half days on the phones, which will reduce coverage further. Unfortunately, that's still too MUCH time for me on the phones, because I'm moving to a different department asap and part of that is training which is designed to be five weeks of EIGHT HOUR DAYS doing nothing but training. Instead, I'm getting half days to train from now through December 6th, except for such days as I don't get to train at all. That would include today, since the people who are apparently supposed to be agreeing between them WHICH half of the day I am doing what can't seem to get this worked out. December 6th I go to Parsippany for two weeks of intensive training on the new (to me) mainframe computer system I'll be using. By all description it's a beast and a pain in the neck, so I'd better have the rest of this licked before I go. Ha.

The bored - However, I am completely bored at the moment. Nope, can't effectively start the training on my own because I can't seem to get fifteen minutes straight without someone interrupting me for something, plus I can't seem to get to the software demo I was told I would be able to practice on. Legitimate interruptions, mostly - phone calls, coworkers asking for info, whatever. Still, I give up. They're boring, I'm bored, bleah. I'm counting days to OVFF... hell, right now I'm counting breaths to OVFF.
kitanzi: (Default)
I am trying to be more consistent in posting. I am also trying to do better about everything from catching up on email to cleaning the house. Ha. Toooo many distractions, however pleasant they are!

And so on, and so on... )


Aug. 7th, 2004 09:23 am
kitanzi: (Default)
[ profile] telynor has already described it quite well, but I find it's fun to have more than one perspective anyhow.
Long, happy rambling! )

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